Okay I wasn't going to post, because I was embarrased, felt disgusting and stupid. but the first step to getting out of this stupid funk is to aknowledge it and move on, and i guess it helps others to see that we're all normal, we all fall off, we all loose the plot (some more than others.. hmmm me at the moment) Im back in the right frame of mind this morning, a good sleep and big talks with chappy last night definitely helped too.
I did the stupidest thing I could have last night, mentally it was very dangerous. I felt so disgusting and fat after the copious amounts of food i ate yesterday and for most part of the weekend i felt like i was going to explode, fully clothed right after an unhealthy platter, frozen coke, chocolate then scoffed down roast, pull apart pieces and then pushed in chocolate pudding and icecream and even some more chocolate after that, fully clothed i got on the scales to prove a point how disgusting i was,. who the hell was i proving this point too. my poor soul was crushed, i cried for close to 3 hours, poor chappy had his night ruined, he is way too kind to me though. he came to bed and cuddled me, told me it was okay, and that he understood i was feeling crappy, i think that was the most important thing he said, not to stop being stupid, but that he understood. I finally sodded off and fell asleep, woke again with big crying eyes this morning. i really have to break this sunday night funk im falling back into. but i decided today that can be my challege, at the moment no other day is causing me too much grief so sunday is my focus at the moment.
I'll plan out the week again and stick with it, get into the exercise again, if my back permits, but ill at least be able to walk! (pinched a nerve in netball saturday) but im getting back to normal thanks to the wonders of voltaren!! and im going to be back under my goal (currently 76.1 goal 75) by the time i pick up my wedding dress this friday. I realise that ill probably drop that kilo in a day or two with most of it being sundays ridiculous splurge. but ill just aim for 75.
Other than that weekend was okay, besides my spac out and the back out. the kids were good, the house is clean and im going to try and start a new day today. I hope you all have a good week and enjoyed a saner weekend....
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2 comments:
Morning miss... glad your post sounds considerably better than you did last night... and see? I told you to talk to Chappy and you'd be ok!! He knows you better than anyone babe, and will always reassure you and listen and be there when you need him... I'm sorry I couldn't help you more. Sometimes it's hard over text messages! But I was right about the damage not being so bad this morning too huh?? Sooooo if there's a next time, LISTEN TO ME!!! Hehe... just kidding. Glad you're okay though - I was worried about you... xx
Oh Jenn, sorry to hear that news. We can be so self destructive sometimes and it can be so hard to get out of that mode.. But I do agree that we need to acknowledge what we have done and just move on, not beat ourselves up about it - easier said than done sometimes!
Hope you've had a good day today. I'm within my points today, so feeling good - 2 days in a row now! Woohoo!
Planning to hit the gym 4 times this week and just about to sit down and plan out the rest of the week's meals.. Only social thing planned this week is BBQ lunch on Saturday at my place, so at least I'm in control of that one!
You are lucky to have such a wonderful, supportive & understanding partner in Chappy!
Let me know how your week is going when you get a minute or two..
chris xx
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