jen is back - no really back this time

im starting to sense a trend.. i say im back on board and then have a few little slips again before i realise - right there's a little more too it than just committing to be back on board - you have to actually do it!! so I am. doing something about it that is. and with ttom close to finishing up, so are the negative thoughts, self loathing talk and just feeling useless and disgusting. because do you know what - im neither of the above and its about time i stopped acting like it!!

So that was my little sermen to myself this morning, and after emailing sherrie I realised that its time to get serious. - again i know, but the more times we have these revelations the more it is etched in us for life. and thats what we are on this journey for, to make life changes not just temporary ones to shift a few kilos here and there. And each time I fall off and get back on I know im a bit more closer to that life change. I will never be perfect and ill never be able to eat and gorge what i want and not gain weight eventually, but do you know what, im glad - because gorging and not looking after yourself doesn't feel good at all!!

So ive rang the hire company today and they are bringing back my treadmill and taking back the crosstrainer - its time to start running again! last summer was when i started last time and I loved it, the feeling you get after a work out is amazing, better than anything ive ever tasted thats for sure!! so im keen to get back into that, as well as some riding and swimming - which requires no equipment or costs, mum has a pool and i have a bike. and a friend has just given me her 12 week triathlon training program so im going to work out my own one so that im incorporating all of the above and make it a bit of a summer work out challenge.

i'd also love to get back into a step class and im walking once or twice a week with sarah now. so i am doing something about it. im also going to go back to - BASICS, always the trick to getting back on track, and im going to write it down! planning works without fail - considering you follow and track it, so im going back to the beginning - not next 'monday' but right now. so join me if you want to feel as fabulous as i will for all the social events we have coming up to christmas!!

Today

B - toast and orange juice 5
l - salad roll/toastie 6
s - fruit, saltanas and vegiemite cruskets 2
d - risotto 7

20 points and nothing extra!

Exercise - AND I WILL DO THIS TONIGHT I PROMISE (i was very lazy with tennis last night, played but just wasn't in it)
- 50 minute walk with chappy after work, then if my tready has arrived, 20 minutes running then my weights and exercise reps. and if it hasn't arrived ill do a 30 minute oz aerobics class that ive been taping. so good start I think...

Anyway I better make a start and getting my head back in work, ive been in no mans land this week so far. so i better get back to it, have a good week and ill be in touch daily to let you know how im going - back on the track - which seems as hard as kokoda sometimes.. tehe...

xx

another pic sent through to share

blow out

just a quick post this morning to let you know about my blow out last night. ttom blowout for sure. chocolate ball, cherry ripe, dairy milk chocolate bar all before tea, oh and some other little pepperdew things that have fetta in them, for some reason i had the most massive craving for these, they are soaked in oil too. then i soaked my tea in way too much gravy as well! so as you can imagine i felt pretty flat and shitty last night. i didnt do any exercise and couldnt sleep when i went to bed. so NOT a great start to the week.... oh well ive aknowledge the slip up and im planning on doing something about it. now that weigh in is friday im keen to not let last nights chocolate binge do any damage at weigh in friday.

so back to the drawing board. i want to feel good for the events we have on this weekend and the only way that happens is when i eat right and stick to my exercise plan so thats the plan. I hope your nights were better than mine. i can't wait for a couple of days when im not feeling so bloated and crampy! tennis tonight and I might throw a walk in there as well to make up for last night. see how i go for time. have a good day and ill talk to you soon. thanks for listening,....

Quiet weekend - with out any sleep still

So much for a weekend of sleep ins - the stupid dog next door barked at our bedroom end of the house ALL morning, and im talking 6am starts both days. I work with the neighbour and have told her once about its all day crying and barking but I noticed their cars were home when I got up to yell SHUT UP on sunday morning so im going to say something else today. Otherwise im going to ring the council, - imagine if we had had a big night! 6am starts on a sunday are illegal!

Anyway that's my whinge, other than that we got up the christmas tree - lights might have to be this week (out side) and I made a massive dint in my christmas shopping (and bank account) on saturday. Mum and I went over to shep for the day and got heaps done - and sore feet in the process. I walked/weights and exercises friday night, saturday and then again yesterday so big ticks for that. I ate GREAT too until a bit too much for tea last night and ww choc pudding and icecream for sweets which wasn't too bad considering.

TTOM so a few extra cravings. bloated and sore as hell today too. I find that if I ever 'play through' (skip a period and stay on the pill) the next period is ten times worse! so as sorry for myself as I was this morning I got on the scales just to check and I hadn't gained since fridays weigh in so I was happy with that. im looking forward to weighing in friday (which I may change to the way im going) and maybe being very close back to 75 or there abouts when i do.

This weekend we have my xmas party with work friday night - boat cruise then out for tea in echuca, big night and all paid for so we will be having plenty to drink im sure! then saturday night we have to back up for another big one, our footy club xmas party - boat cruise again! always a big one. so saturday and sundays main goal is to stay on track, organise some 'points friendly' hangover cures and try and get a bit of exercise in there as well!!

My fruit juices with fat free sorbet have been a popular weekend treat at the moment! i love them, all they are are pineapple, mango, banana, watermelon, some mixed berries and a few scoops of fat free sorbet - its better than the juice shops!! so i may have to make a few this weekend!

this weeks exercise plan-

monday - 50 min walk, weights and exercises and 20 minutes on cross trainer
tues - 30-40 minute walk and night tennis
wed - walk and ride, weights and exercises
thurs - 50 minute walk, weights and exercises, 20 minutes cross trainer
friday - morning walk 30 minutes
and saturday and sunday - play it by ear!!

Anyway better get started, have a good day, make smart choices, keep in the move and ill talk to you soon xx