crack addict on chocolate

so im back, and im on crack... well not really but i might as well be... the chocolate addiction I am struggling with is killing me.. not literally again but god i've never been like this. im so proud to announce that i went a whole day with out any today, but i can't say i didn't think about it, 1000 times! and its not as if im just eating whats in the cupboards, because there is none in the cupboards. im making special trips down to the supermarket to get chocolate. and the only thing that stops me is when my son is sleeping and i can't leave him at home alone.. don't worry i get angry because of that... so obviously i have a problem. so hi im Jenna and im a chocoholic. I was due to have a diabetes test about now because of how big ben was when i gave birth, even though i passed the test during the pregnancy, who knows the amount of chocolate i ate then - i could have bloody given it to myself... anyway they say to go when you haven';t been having a big sugar binge.. so the reading is accurate.. how the hell do i do that at the moment.. what better motivator and still im buying peanut m&ms and maltesers by the family packs... so now that i've fessed up im not hiding anymore. im not hiding from myself, my husband, the check out chick who must think im stocking a canteen. im coming out. and im going to change. im the only one that can change too.

today was a start, tomorrow will be even better. no more.

yesterday i got off from posting on here and being motivated in the ww website and what did i do, i made a too big milo, had too many ww choc biscuits, then made some chocolate pastry crap i had in the freezer, then went down and got some peanut m&ms. then becaues i feel guilty and don't want that chocolate taste anymore... how could i not, look how much i just bloody had. i have a half sandwhich or something to 'wash it down' make my palate clean again. or just back to savoury instead of sweet. this is the viscious cycle i would be in every day when i was overweight, so i don't want to keep running that gautlet or I will end up right back where i was then.

so new start. new me. no excuses. no chocolate. planning and tracking.

here's tomorrows plan for starters

b- big bowl of cereal and 1 piece of vegiemite multigrain toast 4
l - chicken avocado cheese and lettuce sandwhich 6
s - apple 1, dried fruit .5, yoghurt 1,
d - spaghetti florentine 8
20.5

exercise - im getting up in the mornings from now on to do my walk first thing. then im done, started the day fresh and best and i have time to do my work and be a mum for the rest of the day, with the days shorter and colder its harder to get out with ben, but still no excuse, and my poor dog needs a walk so thats my goal. i'll do it every week day then i don't get in the habbit of sleeping later some days and not. every day im up at ten to 7 which isn't too bad considering i still half have a new born. that sleeps like a 10 year old mind you!!

anyway i better go, couple of emails to send before i go to bed. bed before 10.30 each night so that i can get up.

working this weekend, and i have a heap of book work to do over the next few days. we might stay home from footy sat, its too cold and going to be wet so we might as well be inside in the heater. have a couple of yummy slow cooker recipes to test out too, lots of vegies, and nice hearty stuff.

have a good night/day and talk in the next few xx

im back, im back, im back

im always starting my posts as im back. i know. i know, but i guess its a good thing that I am back and im not throwing in the towel. for the past month or so i haven't achieved much in the weight loss department. Although i can report that I am a kilo or two down but the kick start that i was after just hasn't happened yet. So this time im here for business time! this means checking in more regularly like I said in my last post, reporting my food and exercise plans, plan plan plan and track track track

I want to be a happy and healthy mum for my gorgeous big boy and a happy wife for my husband. but most importantly I want to be happy for me, because you know the age old saying - happy wife happy life!!! I know how much better I feel when im kicking goals with this thing so I want to start that happening again. Its my period this week and rather than wallow in tummy pains and heavy flows - which i've discovered post baby has been horrid!! Im going to get regular exercise in, plan and track and have healthy snacks to keep my going throughout the day.

I have a bit on at the moment with work/friends and ben wise so the weeks are absolutely flying. If I stick with this I know I can be 5 kilos down before I know it. but i also have to realise its not easy, it is hard work but the hard work is worth every minute I put in. one day and one meal and work out at a time and then they just add up, and the weight comes down. back to basics as well. this is key. sorry for my rambling im just thinking out loud.

No big weekends planned until our footy club ball which isn't until July 18 so I have 6 weeks to redeem myself before our ball, and my reward will be to get myself a new outfit for that. and just to feel fantastic like I know I can again.

My mini goal - is to lose 6 kilos in 6 weeks. this will bring me under the 90 kilo mark and back into the 80s, that is my goal for the footy ball. so im going to make the most of every single day i have in that six weeks to make this goal come true. Then I only have 10 kilos to work on before our holiday at the end of october. (almost 3 months - to lose 10) these are such reasonable and achievable goals that I know I can do it. it excites me just thinking about all of this. I had planned today to go down the street and get some chocolate and come home and veg out on the couch but just after logging in to here and logging on to the ww website, i have changed my outlook for the day.

my plan now is, some fruit and yoghurt this afternoon and then chicken pasta and vegies for tea tonight. when chappy gets home from work at 4.30 im going to go to mums and use the treadmill for half an hour before he goes to footy training. my plan/outline for the rest of the week

teas and work outs

wed - meat and vegies
big walk, weights and situps

thurs - ww meal
big walk, weights and situps

fri - chicken burger/steak sandwhich
big walk, weights and situps

sat - pitta pizza
morning walk, weights and situps

sun - meal from work, meat and veg
family walk

mon - weigh in!! im aiming for 95 something after a terrible long weekend i hope to redeem whatever gain i have caused in the last few days...

I will check in later in the week,

this week im working at restaurant thurs fri and sat night which will keep me out of trouble and i have some book keeping that will keep me busy during the days.

im going to have portion controlled chocolate at the end of the week which I will allow for in my points. while im really struggling with the chocolate monstor i know i can't cut it out completely or I will splurge.

have a great week, be in touch xx