some photos of my little man - ben henry chapman

they've come out in opposite order so this is the most recent.. and it was about a month ago in his cool pjs... the one below is also in his pjs both just before he was getting wrapped for bed. he was about 2 weeks in this second one...

these next two were a couple of days old in hospital, asleep on mummys shoulder

mwah xx

Im sick of saying - im back!! but at least i keep coming back!!

hi there strangers! although im sure i've lost all followers its been so long that i have been on here and posted! i wasn't going to start again after having ben i don't seem to find the time to post anything on anywhere but after getting on the other day and going back through all my old posts and seeing how much it helped me lose weight the first time i thought why not!!!

I am officially starting over. i haven't had a propper crack at this weight loss thing since having ben just over 3 months ago, i kept starting and stopping and i'd fall off, get back on, fall off and get back on again not to last longer than a few days then have a blowout then think i have to start all over again.. the cycle is vicious and last night was a bit of a rock bottom for me, i went down the street and bought a secret block of chocolate.. i say secret because we already had a block here from the night before (i know why would a chocoholic be allowed to buy a block of chocolate in the first place...) anyway i had already eaten too much of the other block so i didn't want chappy to know that i was so disgusting so i asked mum to watch ben - thats right i pretended i needed groceries for tea.. so i could go and get another block.. and i ate three quarters as soon as she left. i got so upset, felt so disgusted in myself and as soon as chappy got home i blurted it all out, he was so shocked that i would be so silly to hide it from him and i asked him for his help. even if he has to be cruel to be kind i want him to say things like darl do you want me to say something.. when i know im doing the wrong things anyway.. or to encourage me and help me to exercise a bit more.... he was great - as you would know if you have read any of my posts, im pretty lucky i've married one of the most amazing men in the world!!!

anyway so i read somewhere the other day - there are 21 main meals in the week... so if you stuff up one there are still 20 that you can do right.. so i thought rather than write the day off, which is a good old habbit of mine.. why not get back on track straight away.. and i did. i had a small plate of beef mingnong and vegies for tea and that was it for the day then. i weighed in this morning so i have an official start weight and im going to have a real go at this properly this time.. no excuses no cop outs, just proper weight watchers methods.. eat well and exercise..

my start weight this mornig is 97.1 which was actually a 100grams less than when i weighed in on friday.. so i was pleasantly surprised. i know it wouldn't have been that if i had blow the rest of the day yesterday either.. i also got my period this morning so im feeling very bloaty and crampy so im keen to make a real go of things. period or not, i get my period one week to every 3 that i don't so i can't just have a week off when ever i do... the same goes for socialising, after reading my blog back the other day i realised that i have lost some great numbers over the last few years when i have had a very social lifestyle, more so than now even - obviously with a new baby - but we still don't have it too bad off in that area... so no excuses is my moto for the week. i know i have to not look at the big picture either.. one meal at a time and i'll tick them off as i go.. i get too caught up in the 20 kilos i want to lose that it gets a bit overwhelming and i fall into the too hard trap... so one kilo at a time... im full of motos today!!!

so my mini goals first and foremost...

we have winery walkabout in 4 weeks and i want to be 93 something by then.. thats 4 kilos in 4 weeks which i KNOW i can do. some come on.. but still one week and day at a time before i think of that. one weigh in at a time and then add them up.. its something to work towards though which i find has always helped me... i also have a diabetes test in a months time so what better time to get my eating and exercise on track. because ben was 11.1pounds they do a standard test to make sure i didn't develop diabetes when i was pregnant. so fingers crossed that i can eradicate any chance of that showing up!!!

some things to think about..

up my water intake
6 x 6kms walks a week. minimum of 5 but try for 6
smaller portions - bowls and plates
pasta night once a week, not every second night
and 3 vegie nights

plan track plan track plan track...

i know with just these small changes - which are actually huge in fact - i can start losing weight and get into that cycle.. as chappy said lsat night remember last time i had these downs before it started going up for me (well down on the scales.. but mentally speaking..)

so i just have to stay positive and not let my mind sabotage me.. i guess the fact that i keep coming back shows im in this for the long hall.. i know it would be so easy to go oh stuff it i had a baby i can have some extra weight.. but there is no way im going back for number two before number ones weight is gone because i know how hard it is to lose this time let alone after two.. and my moto of the day today...

nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels!!!!

im also dedicated to posting to you at least once a week but otherwise every other day i get on here.

better go do some housework before my little man wakes up. he has the sniffles today for the first time and while its so adorable.. it breaks your heart when they are unwell. have a great day.. every days a great day xx

im back - 12 months later!!!

hi there, well its been a long time, i actually forgot all about my blog but i found it today and remembered my password luckily enough! (thank goodness for the old dogs name passwords!!) anyway i thought this was just what i needed to keep me accountable and tracking while i get back on the weight watchers bandwagon! SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much has happened in the last 12 months though!! Guess what - I had a beautiful baby boy - five weeks ago now. his name is Ben Henry Chapman - i'd say little but he was hardly that - he was 11lb1oz and so long! he is all in proportion though. i will have to post some pictures when i get a chance. my computer is a bit slow! was bit rough there for a while afterwards as i had to have an emergency ceaser in the end so recovery was slow, lost a lot of blood and only just getting back to normal. started walking slowly last week and have even put a few 40 minute walks together and im enjoying that feeling you get from working out again which is good. ben is great, he sleeps so much (the perks of giving birth to a toddler i guess!!!) so we are blessed. we are both loving family life. i'll fill you in on more as i go, im going to try and keep up to date with my posting now that im home all day and have such a good baby i have some time up my sleave in the mornings and arvo! i hope to keep back in touch with a few of you who used to post and check out and catch up on your blogs as well! I will start off today with my plan (which ive stuck to all day so far (i find im snacking in the arvos because im bored not because im hungry so this will be a good distraction)

b - cereal and toast 5
l - toasted focaccia 6
s - fruit and yoghurt 2
d - vegie risotto 6
low point day after bit of an overeating weekend...

exercise - 40 minute walk and weights!

I better start catching up on your posts! could be a while. hope to hear from some of you soon and if not this will do me a world of good to keep up to date as a diary anyway!

houseboat pics

wanted to add some pics from our houseboat trip a couple of weeks back so here goes,. they are only little ones but you get the jist - had the funnest weekend!!

2 months later

my gosh, sorry its been so long and that this has to be so quick, still blocked access at work but it was down for a second so i thought id jump on and let you know i am still here just in bits and pieces. its been a crap week to keep you updated though. friends mum passed away on friday. i only seen her the day before, and she gave me a big hug and kiss before i left which was more than normal and i so had something in my head tell me, hold on to this because it could be the last time. and it was. so they are going through such a hard time, im having my moments and outbursts at home and being strong for the ones that matter, and trying to keep things as normal and safe for them all. its such a hard time, but theres so no right or wrong ive learnt that. anyway im currently 77.2 at last weigh in so ive dropped over 2 kilos in the last two weeks that ive been 'back on the wagon' i got to 79 something and went - wooooaw back a bit. and i started to feel sluggish, miserable and moody so i thought right ive got to do something about this. we are also trying for something else at the moment, well for the last few months, i cant even remember if i wrote that on here yet, hush hush though. so i want to be at my best for when we find that out too, get a head start. if i haven't told you guys that yet then thats pretty exciting news! anyway I hope your all well, kicking goals and doing all the right things, love and light to you all!! work is busy, its good though, i love my job so its not too hard. oh i forgot - a month ago i collapsed at work and they think had some kind of epilepsy episode, (fam history) since i have been poked proded, hospitalised afterwards, ECGs EEGS and im heading down to melbourne on the 18th for more of a diagnosis, so i guess thats just something small i forgot to mention!! im fine and normal now, just have had similar things in the past that ive never had checked out so this time we are getting it sorted! Footy and netball have started trainings too, no rest for the wicked and chappys cricket grandfinal is this weekend. anyway thats a quick run down, anymore news and ill letyou know, enjoy your hump day and make the most of every day we have - every one you love and everything you do! lifes short, but its pretty bloody special too! talk soon xx

hi strangers

hi guys, just a quick one to confirm that yes I am still alive after the silly season. and what a silly season it was, although looking at this today i only actually crept up another kilo over the break, after the gain from the post honeymoon and chrissy celebrations. but im back in the game and sherrie is back in town as well and we are setting ourselves a 12 week challenge to get back on track. and im looking forward to it too. just finished a walk run and some weights and had a shower and about to head to bed. feeling really tired lately so trying to catch up on some sleep. i hope your all doing well./ we have no work access to this anymore so im trying my hardest now that im back on track to get accountable and keep in touch over this so don't think im neglecting this or any of your gorgeous selves. i hope you all had wonderful christmas's and new years and that 2008 has lots more fun days and nights ahead for you. take care. talk soon xx

p.s im 6 kilos up from the wedding, but im also very very happy. and know that like any other time that i have, i can kick those kilos as well. watch this space xx

jen is back - no really back this time

im starting to sense a trend.. i say im back on board and then have a few little slips again before i realise - right there's a little more too it than just committing to be back on board - you have to actually do it!! so I am. doing something about it that is. and with ttom close to finishing up, so are the negative thoughts, self loathing talk and just feeling useless and disgusting. because do you know what - im neither of the above and its about time i stopped acting like it!!

So that was my little sermen to myself this morning, and after emailing sherrie I realised that its time to get serious. - again i know, but the more times we have these revelations the more it is etched in us for life. and thats what we are on this journey for, to make life changes not just temporary ones to shift a few kilos here and there. And each time I fall off and get back on I know im a bit more closer to that life change. I will never be perfect and ill never be able to eat and gorge what i want and not gain weight eventually, but do you know what, im glad - because gorging and not looking after yourself doesn't feel good at all!!

So ive rang the hire company today and they are bringing back my treadmill and taking back the crosstrainer - its time to start running again! last summer was when i started last time and I loved it, the feeling you get after a work out is amazing, better than anything ive ever tasted thats for sure!! so im keen to get back into that, as well as some riding and swimming - which requires no equipment or costs, mum has a pool and i have a bike. and a friend has just given me her 12 week triathlon training program so im going to work out my own one so that im incorporating all of the above and make it a bit of a summer work out challenge.

i'd also love to get back into a step class and im walking once or twice a week with sarah now. so i am doing something about it. im also going to go back to - BASICS, always the trick to getting back on track, and im going to write it down! planning works without fail - considering you follow and track it, so im going back to the beginning - not next 'monday' but right now. so join me if you want to feel as fabulous as i will for all the social events we have coming up to christmas!!

Today

B - toast and orange juice 5
l - salad roll/toastie 6
s - fruit, saltanas and vegiemite cruskets 2
d - risotto 7

20 points and nothing extra!

Exercise - AND I WILL DO THIS TONIGHT I PROMISE (i was very lazy with tennis last night, played but just wasn't in it)
- 50 minute walk with chappy after work, then if my tready has arrived, 20 minutes running then my weights and exercise reps. and if it hasn't arrived ill do a 30 minute oz aerobics class that ive been taping. so good start I think...

Anyway I better make a start and getting my head back in work, ive been in no mans land this week so far. so i better get back to it, have a good week and ill be in touch daily to let you know how im going - back on the track - which seems as hard as kokoda sometimes.. tehe...

xx

another pic sent through to share

blow out

just a quick post this morning to let you know about my blow out last night. ttom blowout for sure. chocolate ball, cherry ripe, dairy milk chocolate bar all before tea, oh and some other little pepperdew things that have fetta in them, for some reason i had the most massive craving for these, they are soaked in oil too. then i soaked my tea in way too much gravy as well! so as you can imagine i felt pretty flat and shitty last night. i didnt do any exercise and couldnt sleep when i went to bed. so NOT a great start to the week.... oh well ive aknowledge the slip up and im planning on doing something about it. now that weigh in is friday im keen to not let last nights chocolate binge do any damage at weigh in friday.

so back to the drawing board. i want to feel good for the events we have on this weekend and the only way that happens is when i eat right and stick to my exercise plan so thats the plan. I hope your nights were better than mine. i can't wait for a couple of days when im not feeling so bloated and crampy! tennis tonight and I might throw a walk in there as well to make up for last night. see how i go for time. have a good day and ill talk to you soon. thanks for listening,....

Quiet weekend - with out any sleep still

So much for a weekend of sleep ins - the stupid dog next door barked at our bedroom end of the house ALL morning, and im talking 6am starts both days. I work with the neighbour and have told her once about its all day crying and barking but I noticed their cars were home when I got up to yell SHUT UP on sunday morning so im going to say something else today. Otherwise im going to ring the council, - imagine if we had had a big night! 6am starts on a sunday are illegal!

Anyway that's my whinge, other than that we got up the christmas tree - lights might have to be this week (out side) and I made a massive dint in my christmas shopping (and bank account) on saturday. Mum and I went over to shep for the day and got heaps done - and sore feet in the process. I walked/weights and exercises friday night, saturday and then again yesterday so big ticks for that. I ate GREAT too until a bit too much for tea last night and ww choc pudding and icecream for sweets which wasn't too bad considering.

TTOM so a few extra cravings. bloated and sore as hell today too. I find that if I ever 'play through' (skip a period and stay on the pill) the next period is ten times worse! so as sorry for myself as I was this morning I got on the scales just to check and I hadn't gained since fridays weigh in so I was happy with that. im looking forward to weighing in friday (which I may change to the way im going) and maybe being very close back to 75 or there abouts when i do.

This weekend we have my xmas party with work friday night - boat cruise then out for tea in echuca, big night and all paid for so we will be having plenty to drink im sure! then saturday night we have to back up for another big one, our footy club xmas party - boat cruise again! always a big one. so saturday and sundays main goal is to stay on track, organise some 'points friendly' hangover cures and try and get a bit of exercise in there as well!!

My fruit juices with fat free sorbet have been a popular weekend treat at the moment! i love them, all they are are pineapple, mango, banana, watermelon, some mixed berries and a few scoops of fat free sorbet - its better than the juice shops!! so i may have to make a few this weekend!

this weeks exercise plan-

monday - 50 min walk, weights and exercises and 20 minutes on cross trainer
tues - 30-40 minute walk and night tennis
wed - walk and ride, weights and exercises
thurs - 50 minute walk, weights and exercises, 20 minutes cross trainer
friday - morning walk 30 minutes
and saturday and sunday - play it by ear!!

Anyway better get started, have a good day, make smart choices, keep in the move and ill talk to you soon xx